Personal Application for Enforcing Boundaries - Exercise
Personal Application for Enforcing Boundaries
Duration: 10 minutes.
In this exercise, you will consider the following.
- Using one of the boundaries you wrote in the previous personal application exercises, describe a situation in which the boundary should be enforced and a situation in which the boundary might be negotiated. Remember the considerations that were listed in the Negotiating Terms section of this lesson, particularly the concepts of help vs. rescue and hurt vs. harm.
Example in which boundary should be enforced. Using our example from the previous personal application exercises, an example of a broken boundary where the boundary will need to be enforced is if the front-line customer service representative does not accept the boundary and the situation gets worse (for example, if more calls are coming through in which the customer's questions could have been answered easily). Though this result would be frustrating, we need to remember that the customer service rep may feel that the boundary "hurts". While this is acceptable for her to feel this way, it is still okay to require that more effort is given to this situation to comply with, and enforce, the boundary. Even though the rep did not comply, that does not make it okay to harm that person by judging her. Note it is also unacceptable to rescue the rep by taking over her unmet responsibility. We will need to be careful helping her to our own detriment.
Example in which boundary can be negotiated. In our example, if the customer service rep has shown an effort toward respecting the boundary but has some questions and ideas about how better to handle some of the responsibility of answering the questions, the end solution may be negotiable.