A few feedback techniques were discussed in the last section. These included 'I' statements, paraphrasing and parroting. We will now look at some more skills and tools that can be used to improve communication.
Good communicators will take time to understand other people's perspectives and hear the people when they are speaking. A good communicator knows communication done right the first time saves a lot of time in the long run, even if it takes more time initially.
People with little patience will:
The value of listening cannot be underestimated. When we listen, we put ourselves into the receiver's position, rather than the sender's. We allow the speaker to state what is on his or her mind, and we take responsibility for giving feedback.
Active listening is the process of listening and responding with paraphrases and questions that ensure that the message from the speaker is being received.
Some active listening traits include:
Assumptions are very dangerous. An assumption is something taken for granted, and has the end effect of one person trying to read the mind of another person.
A sender should be cautious about assuming the receiver understood the message as intended. The receiver should seek clarification if there is any doubt about what was received.
A communicator who confuses sentence structure when speaking confuses the listener. Every language has its own structure, and people are conditioned to follow that structure when they are listening.
Good communicators will:
For example, a good communicator might construct his or her communication with a co-worker as follows:
If we are not sure the another person received our statement correctly, we should ask them to paraphrase it.
We have all heard parents ask their children, "What did I just say?" When we hear this, we know the parent is checking to make certain the child really heard what was said.
In the same way we can ask other people to paraphrase us. We can ask, "I hope what I said made sense. Do you mind rephrasing what I just said so that I know that I communicated correctly? (Notice the use of I statements, and the explanation for wanting the reiteration.)
If they did not get the concept we intended to communicate, do not repeat the sentence verbatim. Instead, say the same thing using different words. There might be something in the way we structured our original sentence or in the way they are receiving it that is not working. By rephrasing the sentence, we give the same information but in a way that they will understand.
A picture is worth 1000 words. We have heard this said many times before, and it is very true. Some people are verbal learners and can form a visual image in their mind from spoken or written words. Others are visual learners who do better with a visual model.
Visual aids may include:
When communicating important information, you may if appropriate and possible want to include a visual aid to communicate your point more effectively. If, for example, your boss is sharing how much higher sales numbers are this quarter, he or she may want to include a simple chart showing the dramatic difference. A simple graph can easily communicate the information more quickly than writing it out in sentences. Similarly, when you look at a picture or a chart or a diagram or other visual aid, it may take you several sentences to describe the information in the visual aid and/or convey the same message.